(to be read from bottom to top)
an entire chapter.
played a small part in a novel, one in which I had given him
had only become the culprit and the victim, had only
whole, yet there was no trace of him in my life,
was the culmination of everything, he had consumed me
When it ended I waited for him, dazed because this
over the sound of my heart, I couldn’t hear him.
unknown territory. I couldn’t hear my words
And then I said it, I entered that intangible
fear and elation creep in. That’s what it felt like.
under your feet as you begin flying downwards
and take that impulse, that feeling of air and nothingness
adrenaline, that summoning of willpower to
what jumping off an edge felt like, that surge of
And as I struggled through it I understood then
oh so simple “I liked you, Landeros, I still do”.
It felt near impossible to say those first words, those
his breath and whisper, of his calm and contentment.
And that made my head spin, go blank, reel at the sound of
It was the first time I heard his voice on the phone
but he sounded calm, it made me all the more adore him.
He was hesitant and curious, unsure of what was happening,
I have them still saved on my phone.
I had to rehearse my words
and I had pined for him for so long.
“The Desired Effect” was playing in the background,
dreamlessons 